My family gets about 20-30 spam calls on our landline everyday. A few years ago, I added our phone number to the Do Not Call registry, but, naturally, that didn’t do anything. Sometimes there is an automated option to remove us from the “list” by “pressing 9” during the phone call, but that doesn’t seem to do anything either. We’ve tried asking nicely, asking rudely, yelling, cussing, teasing, etc. None of that works. So, now, when I answer the phone, I play fart sounds. It started with the news–because that’s what I’m usually listening to–but then it moved to the farts. I actually look forward to these phone calls. When the phone rings and it’s “spam risk” or “probably fraud” calling, I set the phone on my speaker and let it rip.
“Hello?”
[blip]
The blip is followed by a robot reading a script, such as a company trying to sell funeral insurance. If you tell them you’re 98 years old, they will hang up on you. But if you tell them you’re 52, you get sent right to a human. There is enough time between the robot and the human to get your phone set up and the fart noises rolling. I know you would like me to record some of these phone calls, so I will.